DBT Diary – Act Opposite

• September 15, 2015
• by:  Editor
• in:  act opposite art altered art journal art journal art journal course art journal courses art journal e book art journalling courses art journals for mental health art therapy borderline borderline personality disorder bpd dbt dbt art DBT Diary depression dialectical behaivoural therapy art Dialectical Behavioural Therapy disorder distress tolerance Emotion emotional regulation Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder Mental disorder mental health mental health art Mental Health art journal mental health art journals michelle morgan art journal michelle morgan mixed media mixed media art mixed media art course mixed media art e book opposite to emotion art self care Skills therapy therapy art
• note: 5Comments

When the wave of emotion gets too much; crashing over us like a rip tide, that we cannot control, we have to grasp onto something.

Grasp hold of the rope and just imagine you’re floating in calming seas.

This is the basic principle of Act opposite.

A DBT Skill that uses adaptive denial to change your reality.
Basically…
Pretend you don’t feel how you do, and eventually you won’t.

Anger

GENTLY avoid the person you are angry with rather than attacking them, (avoid thinking and ruminating)
Do something nice rather than attacking.
Imagine sympathy and empathy for the other person rather than blame.

Guilt & Shame

When guilt or shame is justified (the emotion fits your wise mind values)…

Repair the transgression say you are sorry, apologise, do something nice for the person you offended  Commit to avoiding that mistake in the future.
Let it go.

When guilt or shame is unjustified (emotion does not fit wise mind values)
Do what makes you feel guilty and ashamed over and over and over. Approach, don’t avoid.

Fear

Do what you are afraid of doing… again and again and again. Approach events, places, tasks and activities you are afraid of. Do things to give yourself a sense of control or mastery. When overwhelmed, make a list of small steps you can take towards your goals, then do the first thing!

Sadness/Depression

Get active, approach, don’t avoid.
Do things that make you feel competent and self-confident.

When I am angry at someone, I am beginning to imagine loving them, imagine holding space for that person and removing all judgement, just loving them as they are. I often find empathy and sympathy follows for the circumstances or beliefs have that lead them anger me.

When I am anxious, and the hairs on my neck prickle, and the sweat on my palms starts gets so overbearing I wonder if everyone else can feel it too (by the way, this is a daily occurrence!) I simply try to breathe. Or should I say; I try to put the anxiety out. I try to tell myself “you’ve done this before., you can do it again” but the voices and the sweat and the shakes and the projections get so much Its ALL I CAN DO just to breathe. Ground myself in this moment and push forward. sometimes I make it out the door to the thing that made me shake with every step. Sometimes I don’t. I’m trying to focus on the times I DO…

When I am attacked, instead of growing defensive, I now try to step back and ask myself… “What is this person experiencing to bring them to this place?”…Often a lack of self-love and support is apparent and it makes me really sad that people are living in such violent places in their minds. “If you are attacking me, I wonder what violent, cutting words you use towards yourself?
What hatred has been imparted by those who were meant to hold you closest, hold you in love? Is it too late for me to say that I love you. And that the dark places in your heart can be healed, if only you dare to hold them, and tell them you love them yourself.”
You can either love or judge, you cannot do both.

How do you try to use act opposite in your own life? Please tell me in a comment below.

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